Tradition, shmadition. We know there are so many wedding traditions and superstitions out there, but what if they don’t represent who you are as a couple? In that case, we say – kick ’em to the curb! 

Although you can absolutely include any wedding tradition you like in your big day, we’re here to tell you that you don’t have to include anything. Your wedding is all about your amazing love, and your day will be so much more meaningful if you trust your instincts. 

With so many outdated wedding traditions still in play, we say follow your heart and not the history books! Here are some of the most outdated wedding etiquette and traditions, why they shouldn’t dictate your vision, and a few tips and some helpful advice on how to plan your day your way.

What’s the history behind common wedding superstitions?

As you’re busy planning your wedding, you’ve probably come across some eyebrow-raising traditions. Why is it bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding? Why are the bride and groom not supposed to see each other before the ceremony? And damn, why is every bride expected to wear white?!

The truth is that a lot of these problematic wedding traditions stem from outdated gender stereotypes and old-fashioned beliefs. White wedding dresses, for example, are one of the most sexist wedding traditions. White is associated with purity and virtue, and a white dress was originally used to symbolise a bride being a virgin on her wedding day. Yeah…wow.

When traditions are based on outdated societal norms that no longer fit into modern life, that kinda sucks. So, do you have to follow wedding traditions? We say a big hell no – ditch any traditions that don’t hold meaning to you, and keep the ones that do. 

Your day, your way: here’s why wedding traditions shouldn’t dictate your vision

Your wedding day should be authentic to your love. Who said a big formal wedding was the only way to get married, anyway? It’s totally OK to swap tradition for intimacy, fun and originality – here’s why. 

1. Say no to the pressures of a traditional wedding 

A big, traditional wedding can put so much pressure on couples. It often feels performative, like you’re putting on a show for 200 people you barely know. We honestly can’t think of anything worse than being the centre of attention and saying our vows in front of a huge crowd. It can massively take away from the intimacy of the moment. 

Couples sometimes do a huge wedding because they feel it’s expected of them, but here’s how to handle wedding-planning disputes with parents: be honest and upfront. Talk to your relatives and let them know that this wedding is all about your love, and that you prefer intimacy and originality over tradition. 

A smaller wedding or elopement will just feel like the weight has been lifted off your shoulders, freeing you to do things your own way – which is so damn beautiful! Plus, smaller weddings save you SO much money.

2. It allows you to craft a day all about you and your partner

When you choose to ditch tradition, you truly get to make the day your own. It’s a way of standing up and saying, ‘I choose myself and my partner above all else’! Then you can get creative and craft a day that perfectly suits your love, your passions and who you are as a couple. 

Traditional weddings tend to follow a formula, so if you’re willing to downsize from that, the day becomes yours to shape into something special – you can even start your own wild and weird wedding traditions, because why not!

You’re allowed to chuck the wedding rule book out the window – who has time for all of that? We live life by enough rules, so your wedding should be all about freedom of expression! This frees up time for things you love, like more time with friends, a sunrise hike or whatever strikes your fancy.

3. The only rules you need to follow are your own 

Here’s the thing about wedding rules: the only ones you need to follow are the ones you make up! We can hear that sigh of relief already…How good does it feel to do things your own way?

Choose whatever location you want. Invite whoever you want. Wear whatever you want – wanna rock a black wedding dress? Be our guest! Who should hold the wedding rings before the ceremony? Whoever you want to bestow the job upon! 

With all that said – it’s totally cool to blend a modern and traditional wedding too. Of course it’s OK to still walk down the aisle, have a first kiss or get the party started with your first dance – you can literally do whatever. You. Want.  

Let’s do this thing! How to abandon a wedding tradition or two

Awesome, we’re ready to do our wedding our way – but how do we get started? Pull up a chair and pour a glass of wine, because here’s what you need to think about. 

Choose an incredible location

You can tie the knot anywhere, so pick a location you’re head-over-heels crazy for. A beach, a forest, your mate’s backyard – your wedding can be anywhere, but aim for a location that has meaning to you.

In outdoor spaces, you’re also going to get epic wedding photos (so keen to start planning our shoot!).

Decide who you want to invite (dogs included)

Whether it’s just the two of you and a celebrant, or a few close friends and family, decide who you want with you on your day. There’s no right or wrong way to approach this – just think about which folks you can’t imagine being without on your wedding day. 

Write your own vows 

To make your wedding your own, it’s worth writing your own vows. This is a really important step – it’s a space to be vulnerable, honest and true to yourself. And if you end up shedding a tear on your wedding day, that’s more than OK! Love is a raw emotion, and we’re totally here for it. 

Speaking of your wedding vows: one thing that’s great to do is a first look. You don’t need to wait until you walk down the aisle to see one another for the first time on the big day! It takes the pressure off and is also amazing for photos. Yes, we promise we’ll be there to capture the surprise, happiness and that ‘Damn, she looks gorgeous’ expression on your partner’s face. 

If you’re planning your big celebration, we hope these wedding planning tips help. We can’t wait to hear all about your wedding day, because if it involves the outdoors, a bit of adventure and a lot of true love, then we are ALL IN!